Watching the movie

I have an incredibly vivid imagination. I am also blessed with knowing the difference between that same imagination and reality. But oh how I wish that my imagination were the truth at times.

I see the husband out of the picture sometimes. Not hurt or anything, just not there. I hear that stupid song, "Chasing Cars" and I am running to some guy. I'm a romantic realist. I know that this man that I run to isn't perfect. Maybe he has ears that stick out a little, maybe he's slightly obsessive compulsive like the rest of the world, the main thing is that he's running to me, too. He doesn't put form before function in our relationship... he would rather have things be right than simply look right. Sigh.

The reality of it all is that I have it pretty good. My husband is the same at home as he is around everyone else in the world. He is very kind to me and puts up with all of my whacky-weirdness. He says that he would not know what he would do if something were to happen to me. I believe him. I was his first friend ever which is a shock because he is good looking. He is a good father. He is just really good. Period.

But there is always some lame, niggling thought at the back of my head that he is so flipping boring that I am going to scream. I like adventures and adrenaline and he is so mellow. He does not like deep conversation and I love it. The topic doesn't matter to me, I just like connecting with people... all different kinds of people. I love how beautiful everything can be.

Then there's that stupid picture in my head that I can have passion, excitement, scintillating conversation, fun... yeah, right. I think most people suffer from some hollowness. This doesn't depress me, I think that it just is something that, well, is.

Regardless of that picture in my head, I am content. He is such a good man and, honestly, he wasn't made to fill all of my needs. My friends fill some and my family fills still others. I'm alright just as I am. And, truth be told, my husband adores me. I think that I needed someone drastically different from me to balance me out. We are extreme people.... extreme opposites. We still have people that do not understand why we are together and we've been together for quite some time. We make a good team. I can live with a lot of things as long as we value each other and work well together.

So screw my imagination. There really isn't anything better than what I have... for me anyway.